Let's Go Buffalo...The other day my mom left me a voicemail message asking whether I was watching the game. The game. I didn't realize my mom had been swept up in Red Sox Nation, especially so early in the season. When I talked to her later that night I soon learned that her "game" in Buffalo was different than my "game" in Boston. She was referring to the Sabres' playoff game. She even sent us Sabres gear to wear in support of our hometown team. I wonder if there's a Sabres fan club like the Bills Backers at the Harp during football season. There probably is. Yes, while spring training has already passed and the baseball season officially kicked off here in Boston earlier this month -- in Buffalo it's still hockey season.
The Sabres are in the playoffs and it's the talk of the town in Western New York. Yes, Western New York, not Upstate New York. It's only Upstate when your perspective is New York City. And sometimes Canada, according to friends from "The City." It's actually located in the most western part of the state. People don't find that point of clarification all that important, but when you're a proud Buffalonian there's a huge difference between Buffalo, and let's say Potsdam or Watertown.
Most New Englanders know that I'm not from around here when they hear me speak. I'm usually asked if I'm from the midwest (although I don't say "pop" anymore when referring to a Coke. My friends from the "tristate area" broke me of that habit in college.) I don't notice the accent but the Buffalo "a" (a whiny, nasally "a") is omnipresent in my speech. Like I said, I don't notice it.
I'm heading back to Buffalo soon for my best friend's wedding. Maybe it's the fact that the summer will soon be upon us and I have fond memories of my summer's during college back in Buffalo. Sunday Jazz in the Square; sleeping through Shakespeare in the Park; nights at Just Pasta's bar with Theo while Alex and Jay finished up at work; even the early morning crew practices on the Niagara. And of course, Chippawa. We have a number of fellow Buffalonians here in Boston. It's always fun to reminisce about the good ole' days (back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore...). There's something very unifying about being from Buffalo. Maybe it's the fact that we're the Bakersfield of the east. Or perhaps it's because we've lived through crazy snow snorms and can laugh together about the fact that six inches of snow is considered a storm in some places (that will remain nameless.) Regardless, I love being from Buffalo. And for my fellow Buffalonians out there...
You know you're from Buffalo when:
- You ever bragged about your driving time to Toronto.
- You ever crossed the border just to: buy beer at Brewers Retail, because you think it has more alcohol than what's sold in the US; buy cheese; buy fireworks; eat at a Chinese restaurant; attend the "Canadian Ballet"; go to the beach; buy gasoline (in the early 1980s); buy clogs (in the late 1970s)
- You have a favorite Greek "family" restaurant.
- You use the word "the" before the numbers of expressways, like "the 290," "the 90," "the 400" and so on.
- Half the change in your pocket is Canadian.
- You save Canadian change to use at toll booths and parking meters.
You've held a "waveathon" at four way stop intersections ("No, you go...") - When someone speaks of a "family restaurant," you think of names like "The Olympus," "The Acropolis," and "The Agean," not Denny's.
- You can tell what part of town someone is from their accent. Especially dat der Chickatavaga town der, an' de freggin' Wesside.
- You ever feasted on these treats: real chicken wings (not "Buffalo wings") ; real beef on weck -- and you call it "beef on wick" ; real pizza, with no crust, cut lengthwise into strips ; real horseradish ; charcoal broiled hot dogs ; Niagara Street clams ;pierogies, golabkis, ... and washed it down with: Genesee Cream Ale, in a 16 ounce bottle ('da pounder) ; loganberry juice; Vernor's
- You slam on the brakes and slow to a crawl whenever you see the "Village of Kenmore" sign.
- You compare ice scrapers with your buddies.
- You make only $25,000 a year, but can still afford a nice single family house in the suburbs.
- You break out the shades and shorts when the temperature goes higher than 50 for the first time of the year.
- You can actually taste the difference between Molson, Labatts and Old Vienna.
- You think of a high school, not a cartoon, when you hear references to "South Park."
- Your grocery shopping list includes rock salt.
- You go "hshhhhhh" whenever a story about a fire or the Bills appears on the news.
- You know what "wind chill factor" and "lake effect snow" means.
- You think Halloween lasts for two days.
- You know more than three women named "Joanne."
- You know the lyrics to: "You Know We're Gonna' Win That Cup" ; The Bills "Shout" song
Any song by Rush or Moxy Fruvous ; "Talkin' Proud" ; The Canadian national anthem ; The "Tops never stops saving you more" jingle - You ever made up lyrics to go along with the Eyewitness News theme song. ("Way more fires, way more death, Irv's gonna' watch the ... city burn!")
- You go to Niagara Falls for the outlet shopping and the Italian food, not the Falls itself.
- You think the characters on the Saturday Night Live "Da' Bears" skits eat lightly.
- Your snowblower has more horsepower than your car -- and you use it about as often.
- You ever sarchastically said "Fun? Wow!"
- One of your friends claims to have gone to McKinley High School with a Goo Goo Doll, or Performing Arts with Ani DiFranco.
- You can identify neighborhoods by smell alone.
- You have more than one shovel in your garage.
- You consider a drive that is more than 25 minutes excruciatingly long.
- Your car has more rust than exposed paint.
- You ever lived at a place where the address included "upper," "lower," "front" or "rear."
- You don't let a blinding snowstorm stop you from driving 70 MPH down the Kensington during rush hour.
- You think the idea of "California pizza" is as sacrilegious as cheering on the Miami Dolphins.
- You ever lived in a house or apartment where the bedrooms and bathroom are directly off the kitchen.
- You think that, when the traffic light turns from yellow to red, it means "make a really, really fast left hand turn."
- You have your doubts about the authenticity of the TV comedy "Jesse," because:
the last roadworthy VW Bug in Buffalo rusted away in 1979; They just don't breed 'em like Christina Applegate in Buffalo; you don't hear Buffalo accents, even though the show supposedly takes place in a blue collar neighborhood ; you wonder "where's all da' healthy women?; you know Jesse wouldn't be living at the corner of Lisbon Avenue and Suffolk Avenue, considering that the Kensington neighborhood "turned, if you know what I mean" several years ago - You know which West Side pizzeria is a repurted Mafia front.
- You know what Vernor's is.
- You live within walking distance of a bowling alley.
- You got frost bitten and sunburned in the same weekend.
- You see nothing wrong with watching fireworks downtown on July 2nd.
- You leave your ski lift tickets on your jacket year round.
- You bake with soda and drink pop.
- You eat orange chocolate.
- You think you're paying outrageously high taxes to subsidize the New York City subway system.
- You think you're paying outrageously high electricity bills to subsidize cheap electricity in New York City.
- You think you're still paying tolls on the Thruway to subsidize repairs to expressways in New York City.
- You think you're paying 8% sales tax to subsidize welfare mothers in New York City.
- You ever played "armchair urban planner" by saying "all of Buffalo's problems would be solved if Main Street was reopened to cars."
- You have ever been shocked when you visited another city because the bars close "so early," at 2:00 AM
- You think that Canada lies west, not north of the United States.
- You don't leave home without your "Entertainment" coupon book.
- You got really excited on your 19th birthday!
posted by Melissa Dodd @ 8:53 PM
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